So anyway, things changed. We drifted apart. She got a boyfriend. It got serious very quickly and one day it just wasn't the same anymore. I mean, I know it didn't happen in a day but thats what it feels like. One day I just didn't recognize this person I was once so close to. I looked at her but I didn't know her. It's really strange to even write of this. I still don't understand myself. But she picked up her essentials two months ago and let me know she was moving out with him. She of course did the courteous thing and let me know she would be paying her part of the rent up until the lease was due.
For the past 3 months, I have been on my own here. And she text me last week. She let me know she was coming tomorrow, Sunday, to gather all of her belongings. So here comes the day. Tomorrow is the day.
Its so strange and surreal thinking back on how many days and nights we spent together knowing only each other's company. I always knew she was there. And she know I was there for her. And tomorrow is basically the end of our friendship. We no longer have nothing in common. We no longer work together. We will not be living together. We both feel like we cannot relate to each other. Funny enough, our mutual friends were met by one of us introducing them to the other. So clearly, our friends seperated. I never asked of it. They just felt like they would keep their loyalty to the one they knew the longest. I would never ask anyone to stop speaking with someone. I would never want that to be the case but in this particular case. It happened.
Tomorrow. Tomorrow she clears her things. And all that will be left are the memories. The memories of laughter, happiness, sadness, frustration, and growth. I don't regret anything that happened. And what I remind myself whenever I feel awful or I am at fault. I think back. We both have different ways of viewing life. Not one person was wrong or right. The circumstances and our up growing, beliefs, and morals led us to the choices we made. Unfortunate, how this friendship will end but we cannot hang onto a relationship that will not be the same ever again. There will always be this pressure of getting to that level we once had before. And life doesn't work like that. Things have to flow freely and be unforced to allow the best out of both people. So tomorrow I say goodbye to a friendship that taught me so much about myself and what I want and don't need in my life. Tomorrow I say goodbye to an old chapter in my book but I begin a new page for the next chapter in my life.
Forever,
Brenda
